Stepping Out From Behind the Camera

Last week, it was Lily’s turn to get in front of the camera for What's Underneath. Now, it’s mine. I was pretty psyched for my chance to let it all out until I literally had an anxiety attack about what I was going to wear. It had to be that exact expression of me, down to the tiniest detail (and I don't really own a bra.) I was momentarily apoplectic and my bedroom looked like a tornado had hit it. Ironically, one of my biggest struggles is with being misunderstood, so I make myself understood with what I’m wearing, and, once I finally got it together, I was ready to be understood with what I was NOT wearing.

Quickly into the interview, I stopped caring about external details and felt as if I was in a meditation, digging down deep and forgetting about my clothes altogether. I had some revelations that surprised me, but the biggest one was how my quest for the truth, which has caused me a lot of pain in my life, actually paid off in in spades as a mother. Your kids are your mirror, and mine have enabled me to face what I don’t like about myself and to be in my truth. “You can't lie to yourself and be a good parent” dribbled out of my mouth near the end of my video, which made shedding the layers (and some tears) totally worth it.

Find out more about Elisa's daughter & SLU cofounder, Lily Mandelbaum
Find out more about her son, Louis Mandelbaum (DJ Louie XIV)
Elisa's episode was edited by Andrea Cruz
The What's Underneath Project is produced by Elisa, Lily, & Mona

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